And now, sweeping you up at breakneck pace, subjecting you to non-stop action, forcing you to cling to the edge of your seat, we bring you … the Eugenes.
That introduction was inspired by last weekend’s Academy Awards tribute to film noir. The Eugenes, however, were inspired some years ago as an agriculturally related knockoff to the Oscars. Their namesake is former federal agriculture minister Eugene Whelan.
And so, without further ado (as they always say just before further ado):
Best supporting actor: federal agriculture minister Chuck Strahl, partly for giving the nod to additional farm financial assistance and partly to encourage more support.
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Best special effects: Canadian farm policy, for taking zero farm income and reducing it. That’s some trick.
Best supporting actress: Belinda Stronach who, by crossing the floor to the Liberals, demonstrated her Conservative notions were all an act.
Best makeup: Saskatchewan premier Lorne Calvert, for finally making up a plan to ease Saskatchewan farmers’ education tax burden.
Best original screenplay: Love ‘Em or Leave ‘Em, the recent paper by agricultural economist Hartley Furtan on what to do about Canadian farmers in perennial crisis.
Best song: I’ve Been Working on the Railroads, a long-running dirge sung by Farmer Rail Car Coalition chair Sinclair Harrison.
Best actors: Canadian voters, for holding their gorge during a long election campaign that engulfed the holiday season.
Best costume design: the weather system that temporarily disguised Manitoba fields as lakes last spring and summer.
Best picture: the sight of bumper crops in many regions of the Prairies.
And now, we interrupt the Eugenes to announce some real, honest to goodness awards won by Western Producer staffers in the North American Agricultural Journalists annual writing contest.
Ed White won first place in the features category for a special report on farmer suicide, which was published last year.
Sean Pratt won second place in the news category for a story on major food company interest in the organics sector.
A writing team comprising Barbara Duckworth, Michael Raine, Mary MacArthur, Ian Bell, Karen Briere and Sean Pratt won honourable mention in the special projects category for a compilation about the BSE crisis upon its second anniversary.
A column on SpongeBob SquarePants and getting the ag message out to children earned me an honourable mention in the columns/analysis category.
And now, without further ado, a word from our sponsor….
