Get to the point
“Hello. How are you?”
This standard Canadian greeting implies an interest in hearing about another person’s health but really is just a conversation opener.
If the reply provides a dismal set of facts about a gall bladder operation or various aches and pains, the eyes of the questioner tend to glaze over and the body language indicates a desire to escape.
Really, we should be able to hit on an opening theme that launches one smoothly into a chat of mutual interest. Sometimes, health questions are the most important but more often than not you get the standard:
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“I’m fine. How are you?”
Here are some alternate suggestions:
“Hello. I hear you’ve quit triggering the smoke alarm at your house.”
“Hello. Been to any good football games recently?”
“Hello. Tell me again how you made that Hungarian goulash.”
“Hello. I hear you lost a race with a mountie last week.”
“Hello. Have you heard the latest idea floated by the school board?”
“Hello. What’s interesting in your life?”
This saves a few hems and haws. It provides you with kernels of information that can be passed on when you return home and are questioned by your spouse or other family members. This works except when the question you get at home is:
“And how’s Henry?”
“Umm. I didn’t ask.”
This quibble aside, bypassing the preliminaries of health and weather would make chewing the fat much more intellectually nutritious. Give it a try.
