Whilst tying a tie prior to attending the christening of my grandson the thought occurred to me that the tie is indeed a ridiculous piece of apparel.
It doesn’t contain sufficient fabric to make a legal bikini and yet it costs as much as a bus ticket to Regina. The person who patented its design probably lives off the proceeds in a swanky residence in Mississauga. The makers of stiff-collar shirts chortle because they know that when you buy a tie you’ll need a shirt designed to match. The manufacturers of jackets and pants look for increased business flowing from the tie trade.
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No man is permitted to get by with only one tie. Every four or five years that designer in Mississauga will decree that wide ties are in, so your narrow number gets hung in the back of the clothes closet.
Then the design will move to ascots, or old-school striped ties or ties with blobs on them that look like the liver flukes that infest sheep.
Lately there has been a trend toward dramatic colors. I guess people are getting tired of conservatism and want to try something innovative.
What do you do when your tie rack threatens to collapse? One solution would be to do as was done along the road leading to Ainsworth Hot Springs on the west side of Kootenay Lake in British Columbia.
Some enterprising high-schoolers have tied their surplus ties on telephone poles for several miles along that route.
What else do you do with an odd-shaped bit of cloth that has been dismissed as old-fashioned? Wear it anyway and thumb your nose at the man from Mississauga? Heaven forbid.
