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THE FRINGE

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Published: September 18, 1997

Standing ovation

There was to be a classsical music concert in town that night and Minnie was so pleased to be going she cooked a sumptuous supper that was topped off by a big bowl of strawberries.

Her husband, Eddie, cleaned his plate and had two helpings of strawberries. It wasn’t until he got to the concert that he began to feel a vague sense of unease.

Minnie had tickets in the middle of the theatre. They had to apologize their way past 15 pairs of feet to get to their seats.

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The soloist was a balding, plumpish man who made snoring noises on his cello. The accompanist was a woman in her middle years whose gown was showing signs of wear where it had slid back and forth on the piano stool.

Eddie realized before the third movement had been played that he was overdue in the men’s room. Strawberries can do that to a fellow. He knew if he waited for intermission he would be 16th in line.

So, when the piece ended, Eddie jumped to his feet to head out.

“How come he’s standing?” asked the fellow sitting next.

“It’s a standing ovation,” said his spouse. “Stand up too and applaud.” So the whole row, indeed the whole audience, leaped to their feet, applauding in great enthusiasm. Eddie was blocked from going anywhere.

“Excuse me, I have to get by.” he blurted. The applauding woman looked at him scathingly.

“I want to get in line to get his autograph,” said Eddie meekly.

It worked and Eddie was allowed to make his long dash to the men’s room.

The woman smiled at Minnie and said: “Your husband is a real music lover.”

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