Building up the order everywhere you go
There are places where you expect to get harassed for the extra sale, and places where you don’t.
Going through the fast food drive-through, I expect the pre-programmed high school kid to hit me up for the side order of spuds.
“Would you like fries with that?” they mumble through the garbled loud speaker that gives everyone a voice quality similar to that of Charlie Brown’s teacher.
“Waa woo wike wy’s weh wat?”
I usually cave in and get the fries.
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“Super size it?” they press, thinking they’re on a sales roll. And, for a mere 20 cents, I usually go for a few more crinkly cuts and the 55 gallon drum of pop.
“How about a big cookie?” By then, they’ve driven me over the edge of sanity.
“OK, OK. Just leave me alone and let me out of here. Here’s my money, just take it all and give me some food.”
I expect some pressure when I’m getting fast food, but it’s starting to look like a guy isn’t safe anywhere these days.
Like at the post office. I just want to mail a dang letter.
“Would you like insurance with that?” No. It’s just a letter. I’m prepared for you to lose one every once in awhile.
“Would you like priority mail? It’s just five cents more.” OK, OK, super size it. That seems like a decent deal.
“Any stamps for you today?” No. And I don’t want a cookie either.
Then I go to the bank to deposit a couple of cheques.
“Would you like to look at our interest rates and take out a GIC?” No, I like earning two percent interest, all right?
Off to the everything-under-the-sun store to get a couple of widgets.
“Would you like to pay for that with your everything-under-the-sun store credit card?”
No, I don’t have one.
“We can sign you up right now and give you 10 percent off today’s purchases.”
I suppose. I’ve only got 14 other credit cards. You never know when you might need one more device for drop-of-a-hat debt on demand.
Go to buy a new power drill and they’re peddling the extended warranty.
“Only $14 to extend the warranty another three years.”
No, I say. I think I can wreck this sucker in 12 months or less.
Everyone’s goal is to increase single ticket revenue. Management likes it if the average ticket goes from $38 to $41. That’s how you build gross sales and net profits.
I think this fall I’ll take a tip from the kids selling the drive-through burgers when it comes time to selling the critters that make the burgers.
When the cattle buyer offers to buy the top end of the steers, I’ll ask, “Would you like some runts with that?”
If he’s in tune with today’s marketing, he’ll gladly accept the bottom end, too.
If I don’t get the calves sold and I decide to send them to a feedyard for finishing, I can use the same tactics on the packer buyer.
He might take a look at them when they weigh 1,100 pounds, and I’ll tell him he can “super size” the load for $50 a head more.
If my cattle feeder’s any kind of corn
salesman, I’m sure he’ll put another three weeks and 75 lb. on to meet the super size requirements.
And, no matter what kind of friend or customer is leaving the yard, I’d have to ask, “Do you need any wild barn cats to go with that today?”
