Christmas is not a happy time for everyone. Death and illness can strike or the season can bring back painful memories of past losses.
Christmas is also a family time. Celebrating Christmas when someone in the family is ill adds pressure to all. Many churches or support groups hold memorial services to help those dealing with a “blue” Christmas to realize they are not alone. Sharing those feelings provides mutual support.
Christmas can be a challengewith a relative who suffers from Alzheimer’s. The Alzheimer’s society suggests these ideas to help care-givers at Christmas.
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Be realistic about what you can do. Everything doesn’t have to be home-baked. You need to take care of yourself at Christmas as well. Schedule some down time for yourself before Christmas. Do something special and you will have more energy for the holiday.
If a person with Alzheimer’s lives with you or will be visiting, keep noise levels reasonable. If you play music, play familiar tunes and play them more as background music. Noises like TV football games may aggravate the person.
Rather than have all family members visit the Alzheimer’s patient at once, have relatives come in smaller groups and stay for shorter times. A series of short scheduled visits with a few at a time will be more enjoyable for all. Singing well-known holiday songs together helps everyone feel positive.
If possible, take a drive in the early evening to look at holiday lights and decorations. Moving about, even from the house to the car and back, can help them to be in the moment.
People with Alzheimer’s disease may have difficulty talking about things. If you see confusion or stress becoming worse, take him or her to a more private and quiet area.
Reminisce about the old times and old friends. Even though the person may not recognize their own grandchildren, they may be able to remember things that happened years ago. Be careful not to correct or interrupt, but also don’t rely on them to continue conversations. If there is a long silence, bring up a different topic.
Because of memory loss, the Alzheimer patient may forget things within minutes so open gifts over a period of time, rather than all at once. This can help with their enjoyment of each gift. Even memories of these pleasures are short, so each thing can help you and them appreciate the sharing that is part of Christmas.
Sharing of yourself, even if it is quickly forgotten, is one Christmas present that is not expensive, yet it is precious.
Peter Griffiths is a mental health counsellor based in Prince Albert, Sask. His columns are intended as general advice only. His website is petecope.sasktelwebsite.net.
