Don’t let little things bug you
Little things in life seem to bother us more than big things.
A lone mosquito buzzing around your bedroom at night can easily become the focus of all your attention and keep you awake. Going to use the toilet and finding the seat up can be very irritating, especially for women, and particularly if it’s dark because they don’t discover this until after they’ve sat down. Someone walking into the house with dirty shoes, just after you’ve washed or vacuumed the hallway can be upsetting.
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Life is enjoyed more if we can eliminate or at least reduce the irritations in life. And we can do so most of the time in one easy step. We need to ask ourselves, openly and honestly, “Is it really worth getting upset about?”
Sometimes the answer is yes, particularly if you just got a wet butt, but in many cases, if we look objectively at the situation, the answer is no. And if the answer is no, you just get yourself unnecessarily upset if you let it bother you.
Ignore person
But what if someone does the same irritating behavior over and over? You can decide it is the other person’s problem, not yours, and just continue to ignore it. It is what you say to yourself about what happened that gets you upset, not the event itself. Instead of becoming upset, angry or irritated you can chuckle, laugh or even feel sorry for the person who doesn’t seem to know better.
If a person’s behavior is beginning to get to you, you can negotiate a contract with them. Look at two of my previous examples. You might be able to arrive at an agreement that if the other person tracks in dirt on their shoes, he gets out the mop or vacuum cleaner and cleans the mess up immediately. But when this happens, don’t rub it in that he got the floor or the carpet dirty. Just remind him of the agreement. It is his responsibility to clean it up right away.
You will handle irritations better if you look at the facts and not guess or infer the intentions of the other person. If you start to wonder why they did it, you won’t be satisfied with the fact that they may be forgetful, careless or absentminded. You will think they don’t care, and especially don’t care about you.
The fact may be that they just weren’t thinking at the time. But if you falsely conclude they did it on purpose you will respond emotionally, not logically. You will become preoccupied with how hurt and upset you feel. Your ability to discuss the issue reasonably with them or to work out a mutually agreeable solution will be sharply limited, or may disappear completely.
Whether something is irritating to you depends on what you say to yourself and believe about the other person’s intentions. Change your irritation-creating beliefs and thoughts and you get rid of the irritation. It’s that simple.
