Freelance Columnist
opinion
When I published a column on April 6, dealing with leaving a religious group, I was hoping the woman who wrote anonymously would write back to me so I could get in touch with her. I also invited other readers to write to me.
Several people wrote who were willing to open up their homes to this family and provide them a farm job. I also received some helpful information from the Stop The Deception Information Service, General Delivery, Sundre, Alta., T0M 1X0, offering support and information about cults. I can’t do much about these offers, since this woman has not written back.
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It is important to distinguish between religious sects and organizations in which individuals voluntarily choose to live in a communal environment and those cults that attempt to brainwash or convert people into accepting a philosophy or approach to life in which they have to give blind obedience to a cult leader. This is not only unhealthy but can be dangerous, as seen in the past tragedies at Jonestown, Guyana and Waco, Texas.
Little contact with outside
There is also a difference between organizations which individuals choose to join as adults, and those religious sects into which people are born, are raised and have to live their life subject to the rules of that organization.
If a person realizes, as an adult, that this is not the life for them and want to leave, they usually face a lot of isolation, harassment and economic losses. I am not sure, but I suspect the person who wrote me may be in this second category.
We live in a democracy. People have the right to make choices. They have the freedom of belief and religious activity. Over the centuries, many people have chosen to live in religious communities, often giving up their worldly possessions and living in a collective community. Orders of nuns, brothers and monks of the Roman Catholic and other churches are examples of this. But those people are there because of a personal choice they made as adults and should they wish or need to, they can leave, even though it may be emotionally difficult to leave their religious “family.”
Emotionally unhealthy
From her letter, it’s not clear if the woman and her family are living in an established and respected religious society, or are with a group which is emotionally unhealthy. If it’s the latter, I’d urge her to reach out to me again.
Groups that closely control activities or thinking are unhealthy. You need the right to be an individual within a religious community. Controlling, unhealthy sects seldom allow that because it’s too threatening for them. Getting away from an unhealthy sect or cult can be very difficult, not just physically, but psychologically. There is often a lot of physical and/or mental surveillance.
The person from the Stop The Deception Information Service who contacted me said: “She is likely feeling so guilty for sending this letter to your column, and very likely scared about getting found out. Fear and guilt are very major psychological techniques used to control and re-indoctrinate members of cults.”
She says should this woman and her family choose to leave, they will need support from others who have been through similar circumstances.
It’s nice to know Western Canada is a caring community. I hope the response and offers to help that this woman elicited will help others in a similar situation.
