Q:I have had bad acne and kids call me “pizza face” all the time. It really hurts my feelings. Sometimes I just wish I could wear a bag on my face so nobody could see me. Please help.
A: It’s easy to say the expression, “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me.” But it’s hard to carry it out in life. And when others say to you that it is just something you are going through, it doesn’t help either. When you are trying to deal with acne’s physical discomfort plus the social discomfort caused by other people’s stupid remarks and concern about your appearance, it is hard to think a few years down the road when things will likely be better.
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You didn’t ask for the acne. It just came, along with your genetic and hormone package. I hope you have seen a skin specialist, a dermatologist, and are using any medications the doctor thinks are best for you.
Yes, it’s a pain having to apply lotions or cleansing pads on a regular basis, particularly when things don’t seem to be improving. But most serious skin conditions take time to control or cure.
It’s hard to say whether dealing with insensitive peers or dealing with yourself is your biggest challenge. If you are in your early teens, your peers are likely quite cruel. You can’t control their behavior. But you can control your own response since it is what you say to yourself in your head that really affects how you feel.
Ken Olson, now a counsellor, was a door-to-door salesperson while training for the ministry. He went to one door and the woman yelled and screamed at him. He felt embarrassed and upset. After he left her house and was walking down the street, he felt horrible. Then he said to himself, “I only had to put up with her for a few minutes. Maybe I should say a prayer for whoever has to live with her all the time.”
With this thought, he changed his bad feelings about himself into feelings of concern and caring for someone else.
Try to look on these kids as being uninformed and stupid. Do you really need to give any attention to what a stupid, uninformed person says to you? They are most likely attacking you because they feel very insecure about themselves.
Olson tells another story about a young woman who felt intimidated by a teacher. Every time he came in the classroom, she tensed up and couldn’t concentrate. Olson asked her to imagine this teacher wearing the most ridiculous costume possible.
The next time he came in, she imagined him wearing bathing trunks and a beanie on his head with a plastic propeller on top of it.
Instead of feeling anxious and scared, she was amused and had to control herself from giggling out loud in class. And from then on, she wasn’t nervous when he came into class.
Think about ways you can visualize these kids who bug you about your acne. Instead of being hurt you can be amused by them.
