Anger fueled fantasy
Fantasy is an important part of life. Except for the documentaries, sports and news programs, almost everything else on TV is a pleasant or not-so-pleasant escape for us. Playing games or reading novels are other ways we fill our need for fantasy.
Fantasy has its place but some people use fantasy in a misplaced way. Some people try to live in their fantasy world and won’t face reality. These people are generally immature. It’s OK to fantasize as long as you realize it is fantasy. My young adult son and his friends have played fantasy games for years and even more so since he has been on the internet.
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I received a letter that was not addressed to any person in particular. This letter is full of fantasy. I suspect the writer knows he is fantasizing. But this young man expresses his fantasy in what most of us would consider to be aggressive and abusive language. When I read that letter I reflected on why he wrote it, and why he sent it to The Western Producer. To me, his little trip into fantasy writing wasn’t for the fun of it. It had three motivating factors: wanting attention, wanting to shock people and possibly expressing anger from some other part of his life.
We all want attention. As any parent knows, much of a child’s misbehavior is merely to get attention. Attention becomes important to people in their teens. And if a teen can’t get attention through peer acceptance and support, he or she will often act somewhat nerdy, just to get it. And if they are very shy, they keep that nerdy behavior or thinking mainly to themselves.
Shocking people is another way to gain attention. Teens, and even adults, do this by talking or writing in four-letter words. As long as other people react to what you are doing, you’re getting your attention “fix.” But once they get bored with your language or behavior and choose to ignore you, you’re right back where you were.
Anger is another fuel for fantasy behavior. When you’ve been hurt, but it’s not safe to let your anger out directly, it often comes out in fantasy. There is a lot of fantasy in what the young man wrote. But his little vignettes are bursts of anger, frustration, and yes, abusive language. If writing this got some of his frustration out of his system, it might have helped.
However, if, as I guess is happening, he is just building up more frustration and anger, then he would benefit by talking to someone such as a teacher or public health nurse for his school. A good counsellor will help him express things more openly and directly.
