Sex, aging and men
Readers often ask me about sexual problems of older men. These are often related to the fact that some physical changes take place in a man as he ages, whether he likes it or not. The more he fights or refuses to accept these changes, the greater the problems become.
One effect of aging is that men don’t come to orgasm as quickly. While they often tried hard to delay orgasm when younger, to prolong enjoyment for themselves and their partners, older men often are impatient when an orgasm doesn’t occur just when they want it.
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If he allows himself to become impatient and anxious, he becomes self-conscious and focuses only on his orgasm rather than the physical and emotional closeness with his partner, which is an important part of sex. And the more anxious he becomes, the less he maintains his sexual arousal.
For men to enjoy sexual relations in their mature years, they need to enjoy what is happening, rather than getting upset about what isn’t happening.
Anxiety the problem
Older men may have problems maintaining an erection. The problem is often psychological. The more a man gets uptight about his erection, the less “up” or “tight” the erection becomes. A man’s biggest sex organ is his brain, which strongly influences what happens to the rest of his body.
An erection problem may be physical. As men age, the tissues that store the increased blood flow to the penis lose elasticity and begin to leak. They don’t hold the blood in the vascular tissues as well. It’s like having a slow leak in a car tire.
This is frustrating. But it can be helped with a device called a penis pump. A sleeve, usually of hard plastic is placed over the penis. A rubber ring, with lubricant, seals the penis inside the pump. Air is removed from the pump.
Because of the vacuum that results, blood rushes into the penis, filling the tissues and creating an erection.
Once this is done, the man rolls a rubber ring off the base of the pump onto the base of his penis. This ring stops the blood in the penis from getting away. He then presses a button to release the vacuum and slides the pump off. This helps him maintain his erection until after lovemaking. He removes the rubber ring and everything goes back to normal.
Find suitable size
There are a few minor side-effects. Because the penis is not getting a constant new blood flow, the penis may feel a bit cooler than usual. The rubber ring at the base of the penis may feel a bit uncomfortable, but he can choose to ignore it and focus on the more important stimuli around him, such as his partner, her body and her emotions, and can likely ignore the sensation. Various size rings are usually supplied so a man can find which is most comfortable and effective.
If a man is thinking of getting a penis pump, I suggest he first see his family doctor to make sure there aren’t other medical problems, such as low blood pressure. Don’t shop for a penis pump in so called “love shops,” although they may seem cheaper. They also tend to be of lower quality. Many doctors, particularly urologists, know of reputable firms who sell good quality pumps. A good pump may cost you between $250 and $350 but it is worth it. Such pumps usually come with a lifetime guarantee and an income tax medical deduction certificate.
Not every older man needs a penis pump. Neither does every older man need bifocals. But if something helps you enjoy life better, it might be worth exploring.
It is important that any man considering getting such a pump discuss it with his partner, mainly to alleviate any concerns or anxieties she may have about its effect on her. The only thing she will experience is the rubber ring at the base of the penis, and with a bit of appropriate adjustment during lovemaking, she may not even notice it at all.
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