On five pieces of paper write the names of people you love. Close your eyes and throw one on the floor. Imagine that person just died.
The drama of this grieving exercise was almost too much for the nurses and home-care workers who tried it, said Judy Simpson, a palliative care educator from Halifax, N.S.
Speaking at a workshop of the Canadian Association of Psychosocial Oncology, she said health-care staff in her area wanted to know how to deal with a person dying at home. First they had to sensitize themselves to the emotions whirling in such situations before determining how best to help patients.
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Sticking with the people is important, said another presenter, social worker Dale McKinnon of Penticton, B.C.
“The service needs to be there when the patients are there,” he said. “People have crises and you must deal with them then. No crises happen on a schedule.”
Cancer patients need an advocate to help them get answers from the specialists and support from the health system, said Gerri Dickson, of Saskatoon. Diagnosed with breast cancer two years ago, Dickson is critical of the system she has seen operate close-up as a nursing instructor.
“I know things don’t have to be the way they are. I’m talking respect, integrity.”
Dickson wanted more information but as a patient was initially barred from the Saskatoon Cancer Clinic library.
“I was in no shape to fight that battle that day,” she said in a strong but tight voice, still angry. “I got in that day but I had to challenge it.”
People are exhausted by fighting the physical and emotional aspects of their cancer, she said. The last thing they need is blocks to their own attempts to understand what is happening.
“Life is never really the same,” said Dickson. “It typically takes two years to accept the diagnosis and rework the self-image. I’m still traumatized by that, still healing.”
Montreal researcher Linda Edgar, who is studying how people deal with their cancer, told another workshop, “coping is all we can offer until there is a cure.”
The study found patients were less anxious if they used one or more of the following skills:
u Positive problem solving means patients living one day at a time, changing something in their lives so they feel more in control and being creative in challenging their disease. Younger, healthier patients who tended not to be on chemotherapy practised this skill.
u Seeking social support means talking to others about how they are feeling. Younger patients and females were more likely to do this.
u Escape/avoidance means patients keep their feelings to themselves and tried to forget the whole situation. Those who were less optimistic used this method.
