It’s amazing, the things you learn about yourself through your email.
I didn’t know, for instance, that I needed a $1,200 US injection into my bank account to make ends meet. Good thing someone is up on that. I don’t know who, but someone.
Apparently, I can’t rely on my current source for all my expenses. But will $1,200 really cover my financial ails (sic)?
Oh, wait! A new email. I’m actually approved for $1,900. Cool. This advance is even better, because it will ensure that I can live a normal lifestyle. I can avoid overdraft fees and long, sleepless nights. Whew. What a relief.
Read Also
High prices see cow-calf producers rushing to incorporate
Farm accountants are reporting a steady stream of cow-calf producers rushing to get their operations incorporated ahead of selling their calves this fall.
Better yet, I can spend some of it on Premium.Pure-Garcinia.Combogia. It has been found to increase metabolism, boosting weight loss by more than 800 percent. Sign me up! Within a year, I will have lost my entire body weight approximately one and a half times over. By next fall, I won’t need those cash injections (do they hurt?) any more, since I will have disappeared.
That might be a good thing, be-cause I will be able to avoid my creditors. My credit rating is terrible, I’m informed. I’ve had to take action several times a week to bring it up to snuff. It’s getting exhausting.
Worse yet, someone is trying to ruin my reputation. My online record was updated with negative information. Judah says, “If you would prefer not to get anymore udpated (sic) from me then I can assist you with that. Just kidnly (sic) enter in your information and I will do the rest.” Sigh. More action required.
Luckily, there are a whole bunch of pills — sorry, supplements — available to give me energy, wake me up, put me to sleep and generally combat my exhaustion.
I’m going to need energy if I’m going to take the 15 trips I have recently won. Considering it just about flattens me to take one trip, I’ll need all the help I can get for the 15.
I could be really broke after all those trips, so thank goodness someone is sending me 1900 smackers.
It might also be a good thing that I’m taking a few days off. Maybe if I get away from all these important emails for a while, I won’t feel worried sic.
