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Second marriages

That does not mean that you should not remarry. It just means that you might want to be more careful than you were when you got married the first time.

You are more likely to succeed if both you and your boyfriend understand why your first marriages did not work. If either or both of you are still blaming the other guy, that is not a good sign.

You might want to spend some time with a counsellor, grieving the loss of that relationship and defusing both the anger and guilt that often haunts divorced couples once they have finished paying their legal fees.

You might also want to take your time preparing for this marriage. Each of you is going to have to learn to accept the other person for his or her faults as well as for those strengths that attracted you to each other in the first place. That takes time.

Don’t forget that both you and your boyfriend are often on your best behaviour when you are with each other. That is not always true when you get married. If you are finding that he has some habits or tendencies that you simply cannot tolerate, you need to consider whether you want to carry on with your relationship.

You need to agree on how you will deal with your former spouses. They are going to be around as long as your children are home.

A lot of blended families work co-operatively with those other parents but there are no guarantees. Your only assurance is that you and your boyfriend support and encourage each other when former spouses are around.

I hope that you will take a chance and follow your dreams to that special relationship everyone deserves.

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